I am concluding the seven practical steps to better communication in your relationship and marriage. I believe the points discussed so far have been helpful. I am committed to you having the best in your relationship/marriage. If you can talk about everything effectively, you will overcome everything.

Let’s see the last two steps:


f. GET HELP OR SEEK COUNSELING: In extreme cases, when reaching out or trying to talk proves abortive, get help. It may be from a professional counselor, religious leader, or someone you both hold in high esteem. You may consider someone from both families if you are sure they will not take sides or give biased counsel. Nothing is wrong with asking for help; everybody needs help now and then. And please do not wait until things have degenerated and are beyond repair before you seek help. Nip it in the bud – when you notice you both are drifting apart and not talking for whatever reason(s), do not let it; engage.


g. PERISH THE TOYS. Well, not literally – that may cost you some money. But you know what I mean. The social media world is called ‘virtual’ for a reason. It is not REAL. Most of those things you spend much of your time watching, browsing, and reading are not real and never reflect your current situation. You may have thousands of ‘friends’ and ‘likes’ and ‘retweets’ on social media, but the ‘Like’ or ‘friend’ you need is the person beside you. The television or phone can wait because when push comes to shove, the T.V. will not be there to help you out in that difficult time of need or sickness. The spouse you have neglected for Facebook will be the most important face you want to see when you are down to nothing. Step out of the virtual world and face reality. Engage moderately with social media, and don’t let the virtual rob you of your relationship.


There is no replacement for healthy conversations between couples. I cannot overstate the importance of talking/communicating. Most a-times, speechlessness in itself is a cry for attention! Married couples or partners need to understand that beyond the silence is a screaming desire to be seen, heard, and understood. Take the time to understand the need that your spouse is trying to express through speechlessness, and do all that you can to fulfill that need.


The best relationships are between imperfect people who realize that changing each other is not as easy as it seems. Instead, they have found a reason to talk and keep talking. I often say, “People do not talk because they are close; they become close because they talk.


Thank you for sharing this learning experience with us. I hope you have learned some tips to help you navigate and conquer speechlessness. I wish you and your partner a great time communicating and living your best lives now.


Let me hear your thoughts in the comments section.

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Japari Ganama

This conclusion is certainly my favorite of the series. I agree with the first point about seeking trusted counsel. It is not even about getting people to take sides with you against your spouse (good counselors won’t), It’s simply about, like you say, nipping the weeds in the bud. Sidenote: I hear that women are more open than men to especially marital counseling, but it never hurts to try.

On point no. 2, I really like the idea of boundaries around media (TV, phones). Greet Jesus and your spouse before you check your email and whatsapp status. Lol.


So true, Japari. It takes us guys a lot to open up our marital issues to a third party. We believe we have everything figured out.