We are looking at seven practical steps to end speechlessness in your relationship and restore the friendship between you and your partner. Today, I am adding three steps you and your partner can discuss and practice. Let’s dive right in.
c. BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT TALKING: The best way to build your communication is to communicate. Great relationships/marriages are those that exist between friends, true friends. Friends rarely struggle to find what to talk about; the conversations are seamless. Make a conscious decision to talk and never stop talking. Someone may ask, “What do we talk about?” The way to find things to talk about is to invest in sharing your lives together. For example, watch movies, visit friends, go for walks, stay in the kitchen, drive out, etc., together. The more you do things together, the more you have what to talk about. If not, communication will be difficult. Do not be afraid to discuss ‘sensitive’ topics too. Only find the right time and atmosphere to discuss them, but no topic should be off limits. You will grow together through those talks.
d. LEARN TO LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGING: Sometimes, silence arises from a spouse’s family issues (secrets) or hurtful past experiences. As a spouse, be willing to let your partner trust you enough to open up about those things without fear of being judged or having it thrown in their face later. Let them be confident that they can always count on you as a pillar of support instead of tearing them down with negative words and actions. When you listen without judging, trust is built. Anyone who trusts you will talk to you about anything without fear. If you sit as a judge over your spouse, you will lose them.
e. FORGIVE: In a few cases, speechlessness is rooted in the inability to get over a partner’s past mistakes, offense, or infidelity. As painful as it may sound, you must decide to forgive and let it go, especially if you don’t think the offender is sorry or broken enough. The feeling of betrayal is devastating, no doubt, but decide what is more important to you – your grouse or your spouse. We forgive not because people deserve it but because of the peace that comes with letting the hurt go, and it opens the door to a richer expression of love. Holding on to a grudge and all the anger that comes with it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness frees up more space for friendship and open communication.
What do you think? Is any of these helpful? What would you put to practice immediately? Have you tried any before, and it worked? Let me hear your thoughts in the comment section.
Join me in the next episode for the last two steps on bridging the communication gap in your relationship.