Though angry and pained, Tari still loves her husband but cannot help but wonder if this man is the same one she fell in love with 11 years ago. She married him when he was still hustling, but she saw his potential. He was ambitious, and that was appealing to her. She was sure he would make it and encouraged him to go for a Master’s program to better qualify him for the dream job. Tari worked long hours while trying to run a small business, so Timi would not be overburdened with providing for the home while schooling. It was not easy combining work with being a mother, but she was willing to make sacrifices for the future she knew they would have. Timi had promised that one day, she would live in the lap of luxury and enjoy the fruit of her labor. Is that not what it is supposed to be?

Eventually, Timi finishes the program and lands a job, just like they prayed and things began to look great. At first, Timi was a grateful and kind husband, appreciating all of Tari’s efforts and lavishing her with gifts and praises. He even invested funds in her small business and started encouraging her to leave her job. Soon, he gets promoted to a higher position in a department with perks. With her support, he later starts a freighting (cargo) business on the side; it is an immediate success. It was a source of pride for Tari until she noticed that every time Timi was not home, he was at the ‘business’ and spent more time there. Is this not what she had prayed for?

Tari had to eventually resign from work, because of a second difficult pregnancy. She had suffered a miscarriage and was advised to ‘take things easy’. However, while she journeys between home and the hospital battling for their unborn child, Timi begins to ignore her and spends most of his evenings with Bunmi, the pretty Marketing Manager of his thriving business. He even tells her that Bunmi is the reason the business is doing well enough for him to take care of her and that she should be grateful. Tari is devastated.

Tari later finds out that Bunmi is 6 months pregnant and lives in a house paid for by her husband. Tari does not have access to the company accounts anymore and notices she is not the ‘madam’ the office staff are referring to when she goes to her husband’s office. Timi has thrown all decorum to the wind and moved in with Bunmi. Family, friends, and Clergy wade in but he insists he wants a divorce. He insists Tari dimmed his star, but Bunmi has brought him luck. He has agreed he will take care of the children but wants Tari out. Tari has been counseled to leave by family and friends, as Timi has even turned physical with her.


However, her decision shocked all who heard it… “I WILL NOT LEAVE. I’ve decided I’m going to stay and run his business to the ground. I helped start it, and I can bring it down.” Tari is privy to certain damning documents.

Is this a good decision? Is Tari about to do something she’ll regret? Is it possible for Tari to make Timi’s life a living hell or is it just an empty threat? Should Tari cut her losses and run? Is it not going to have a ripple effect on her children? Is there anything Tari could have done differently to prevent this from happening?


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Ola Ade

Sometimes the pain can be so much, a woman just decides to bear excruciating pain in order to give the offender pro max pain. Like the saying goes, hurting people hurt people.
I would have just said she count her losses and move on. Leave him to his God.

Its a painful thing. One’s spouse can be the greatest source of pain because trust, faith and vows have been broken.

God help us.


So we’ll out Ola. ‘Your spouse can be the greatest source of pain because trust, faith and vows have been broken’.
How do you count loss in a situation like this?

Gwanzura Tabitha

It is really painful, sometimes revenge can seem to be the most satisfying thing. Unfortunately it doesn’t always follow, the person who harbours malice is set for self destruction. Its like Tari drinking poison expecting Timi to die. If she continues with her plan, her own children will suffer.

I would say to her, release Timi and move on. Let him take care of his children, atleast they will also enjoy the fruits of your labour.


Thanks for responding Tabitha. Can she walk away from the children if she is ready to destroy his livelihood?

Aimua Oviawe

Wow!! This is so sad. Timi has made up his mind and wants Tari out. There’s no need for her to bring him down and I know how painful it can be getting this treatment! I hope she has some savings and investment for herself to push her forward.
Timi is on a fast road to destruction. Tari needs to find a place in her heart to forgive him and then divorce him.


Thanks for your response Aimua. Tari really did not have much in savings. She did not foresee Timi not taking care of her after all she did to get him where he was. 😞

Blessing Okpale

Wow…poor Tari. This is the point where revenge tastes very sweet but I’m not sure running Timi’s business to the ground will heal her hurt any better.

Ifiok Enyong

Hmmm pretty painful… i can’t imagine the betrayal but 2 wrongs can’t make a right.
Well I don’t think Tari could have done anything differently to avoid this, why Tari? Why not Timi? It’s takes 2 to tango! We are in a world where women are mostly blamed for the bad behavior of their husbands, like they had to do everything to keep their home or their man. I just don’t think it works that way.
I also don’t think it’s an empty threat, Tari can actually make Timi’s life a living hell but no need. Not even because of the children. I mean she doesn’t just need all that negative energy. she’s hardworking and so she can turn all that energy to build: take care of herself and her children instead of destroying.
And ofcourse she has to heal from all the hurt and betrayal so the earlier she starts the journey the better so she that can raise her children better and free from drama as much as possible.


Thanks Ifiok. I like your point that it takes 2 to tango. Marriage is not a favor done to a woman by a man or vice versa. They both need to prepare for it and work at it to succeed. Thanks for your response ifiok.