{"id":8096,"date":"2023-01-13T00:02:40","date_gmt":"2023-01-13T00:02:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/?p=8096"},"modified":"2023-01-12T13:49:50","modified_gmt":"2023-01-12T13:49:50","slug":"how-did-it-get-so-cold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/how-did-it-get-so-cold\/","title":{"rendered":"HOW DID IT GET SO COLD?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Now we can identify how the \u2018silent treatment\u2019 plays out; the next step is identifying the \u00a0sources and causes of speechlessness in a relationship<\/span>:<\/p>\n

1. UNRESOLVED OR REPEATED OFFENCES:<\/strong> When an offense is unresolved or occurs frequently, hurt can make the offended spouse withdraw into their shell, becoming speechless. They soon find it easier to have conversations with everyone but their spouse.<\/p>\n

2. LACK OF OR MIS- UNDERSTANDING:<\/strong> A wife thinks her husband perceives her as ‘nagging’ because of her clamor for attention or an attitudinal change in her husband; she falls silent. A husband feels constantly picked on by his wife and decides the best way not to blow his top is to remain speechless. In more critical cases, a spouse becomes quiet because their partner always reads meaning to everything. Sometimes, they respond like they already know what they mean to say or never listen but jump to their conclusions. The affected spouses \u2018think\u2019 their best choice is to stay speechless.<\/p>\n

3. OVERT OR SUBTLE AGGRESSION:<\/strong> When a couple\/spouse is usually aggressive in their speech or responses, it creates a tense atmosphere, and \u2018free, intimate, and open speech\u2019 may be the first victim. When it is hard to reason with a spouse, the other partner can become speechless. If asking \u2018why did you come late\u2019 will earn me an insult, I would rather be quiet. If telling you, \u2018I do not like your fingernails\u2019 will lead to a reminder that I do not meet your needs, then being speechless looks attractive. It is hard to reason with a bully; avoidance may be the best escape route.<\/p>\n

4. VIOLENCE:<\/strong> \u00a0This reason is sensitive, but a major reason for silence. In a\u00a0relationship<\/span>\u00a0where there is verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, \u00a0becoming speechless becomes a way of ensuring \u2018peace\u2019. The abused partner is often too afraid to speak for fear that s\/he might trigger another bout of abuse. The abuser enforces silence by punishing, manipulating, and bullying their partners into some false sense of submission. Some people mistakenly assume that there will be peace if there is no conversation to trigger any issue. However, abuse in whatever form indicates an even bigger problem that silence will only aggravate and not solve.<\/p>\n

In my next article, I will continue to discuss the causes of communication breakdown in marriages. <\/strong>Meanwhile, I\u2019ll like to read your thoughts, questions, and recommendations below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Now we can identify how the \u2018silent treatment\u2019 plays out; the next step is identifying the \u00a0sources and causes of<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8098,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"h5ap_radio_sources":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[97,94,95],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[101],"class_list":["post-8096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-homes","category-relationships"],"aioseo_notices":[],"authors":[{"term_id":101,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"pastorwale","display_name":"Wale Afelumo","avatar_url":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/ILCC-9221.jpg","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8096"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8096\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8100,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8096\/revisions\/8100"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8096"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=8096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}