{"id":8047,"date":"2023-01-11T00:02:59","date_gmt":"2023-01-11T00:02:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/?p=8047"},"modified":"2023-01-12T09:03:39","modified_gmt":"2023-01-12T09:03:39","slug":"speechless-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/speechless-2\/","title":{"rendered":"SPEECHLESS 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Glad you could join me to continue the walk we began in part 1<\/a><\/span>. Did any scenario come to mind as we strolled through the first 2 homes? Perhaps you grew up in a home like this and you are afraid to find yourself living in one. There is light at the end of this silent tunnel, but we have 3 more steps to make for now.<\/p>\n

3. Monosyllabic Responses:<\/strong>\u00a0In these homes, ‘tolerating each other’ seems to be the name of the game. There is a lot of acrimony and irritation toward each other. The marriage is held together only by the doctrine of cordiality and fear of societal backlash from choosing to end it. These couples respond to each other with grunts, sighs, nods, and simple phrases like YES or NO! It is more dangerous if it is mutual, as it is indicative that both spouses care less about what becomes of their marriage. If it applies to only one spouse, s\/he may be doing so for varying reasons:\u00a0seeking attention, proving a point, trying to get even with their spouse, or generally just trying to be manipulative and controlling.<\/strong><\/p>\n

4. Superficial Discussions:<\/strong>\u00a0Most couples are guilty of this. Even when it seems all is well, silence in such a marriage manifests itself in the quality (depth or richness) of the conversations. Is it rich, is it heartfelt, is it open, is it truthful, seeking to understand the spouse, etc.? Couples do not necessarily need unresolved issues or conflicts to find themselves in this atmosphere. It reveals a lack of effort to invest quality conversation in their relationship and work towards spicing it up to make it work. Superficial discussions indicate a spouse drifting from his\/her commitment to the relationship (an affair, friendships, work commitments, hobbies, etc.).\u00a0<\/em>There is so much talking going on, but there is no communication.<\/p>\n

5. Avoidance:<\/strong>\u00a0Psuedo-peace exists in this home. It occurs when couples have a pending weighty issue, misunderstanding, or offense that needs resolution. The guiltier party avoids being confronted on the matter and\/or brought to a point where s\/he will have to tell the truth, admit wrong, and be exposed. Instead, the guilty party tries to be extra-friendly, buys gifts for the wife, or prepares his favorite meal. S\/he acts like nothing has happened, while the offended party is irritated, waiting to be spoken to while dying inside. In a few instances, the offended party may be the one who is afraid or unable to confront the offender. Although they talk, they are silent about what matters.<\/p>\n

Thank you for reading. I’ll like to read your thoughts, questions and recommendations below.<\/p>\n

In the next episode, I’ll be discussing causes of communication breakdown in marriages<\/strong>. JOIN ME.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Glad you could join me to continue the walk we began in part 1. Did any scenario come to mind<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8048,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"h5ap_radio_sources":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[94,95],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[101,100],"class_list":["post-8047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homes","category-relationships"],"aioseo_notices":[],"authors":[{"term_id":101,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"pastorwale","display_name":"Wale Afelumo","avatar_url":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/ILCC-9221.jpg","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""},{"term_id":100,"user_id":4,"is_guest":0,"slug":"pua","display_name":"UDUAK AFELUMO","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d9454622fdfe5f111565f81f42a6f6a70af1e2c38e1bad01f43537335a37dc9e?s=96&d=mm&r=g","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8047"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8093,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8047\/revisions\/8093"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8047"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/waleafelumo.com\/school\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=8047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}